Inner Battle: Round 1
A few days ago, I was approached by one of Living with SHAPE’s students regarding how to handle a certain situation. Two days later, I found myself in their shoes. If it wasn’t for them, I’m not sure I would have had the courage to step up. But how could I expect this child to act on my advice if I couldn’t. Practice what you preach.
Scenario: Someone tells you a negative comment. It bothers you. Maybe the comment was towards you, about someone else, or contradicts what you believe in. But immediately, you started thinking…
Why would they say that?
I don’t get why they don’t like me.
What did I do to them?
They’re lying straight to my face and I know it.
What type of person would do such a thing?
Option I: Unconsciously don’t take action.
You never internally make the decision to not take action. Ultimately, whether you are trying to or not, you avoid the situation. This leads to these stories and questions running through your mind for days and allowing it to lower your energy.
Option II: Consciously don’t take action.
You make the decision internally to not take action and ACCEPT that decision. By accepting this decision, you allow the comment to pass by without it having a long-lasting affect on you.
Option III: Take action by addressing the situation.
Often times, it seems easier to avoid the situation rather than face your fear. And while Option II is a good option, there are other times that it is important to address the situation that is bothering you with the person that is bothering you. By taking action and addressing the situation, it controls the “questions” that keep popping up in your mind. This allows you to understand the why and then make a decision on the best next steps for you. You may even uncover your interpretation was different than theirs.
Looking at these options, the only one that will have a negative affect on you, is option I. You should be in charge of determining how you feel...not someone else. Next time someone says or does something that has a negative impact on how you feel, take action. First, ask yourself, does this comment have any weight behind it that will slow me down? If so, take action. Ask the tough questions! Speaking from recent experience, this can be a very powerful tool. I let that little child in my head beat me up for hours, filling my head with stories before finally stepping up and asking for the truth. And guess what? My assumption was wrong and I spent hours beating myself up over absolutely nothing.